From a very interesting discussion with friends the other day, I came to realize that relationships are surprisingly complex. We restricted the talk to just friendship, boyfriend-girlfriend relationships, and marriage (since these were the ones we were most interested in!). Even then, it was complicated enough to produce counter-intuitive conclusions.
The original talk was extremely long, and filled with personal opinions, notions and prejudices. Stating the entire content of it in words would turn out to be a rather tedious task, and would likely not produce any meaningful conclusion. So I’m going to write about a rather interesting theory of relationships that I learnt during the talk, which turned out to be an eye-opener for me, and I’m pretty sure for others who hadn’t heard of it earlier, as well.
Well, if you continue to read, I’m sure you would be perplexed too. So, the theory of relationships that I’m talking about is called the ‘Blink’ theory. I don’t think that’s an official name for it (you won’t find it in Google), but it sounded cool, so we just went for it. So this theory is concerned about the selection of partners in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship (and all further usage of the word ‘relationship’ refers to such relationships, unless stated otherwise).
Before we actually get to the theory, let’s try to get something clear first: Where does one intend to go with a relationship? This is a very deep question, if you actually think about it. Of course, you can get away by saying, “I wanna have fun” or “This boy/girl is hot. I think I’ll stick with him/her until someone else comes along.” The idea of a relationship varies from person to person, and it’d be unrealistic to agree on a common notion. So, at this point, the Blink theory makes an assumption: Every relationship is started with the intent to make it last forever, culminating in marriage. This essentially implies that the theory isn't for people who enter into relationships just for a ‘fling’, or for fun. But of course, it doesn't necessarily imply that thinking in the latter manner is wrong! It’s just that the theory isn’t designed for such people. Now with that out of the way, let’s get to the theory. How do you choose partners for a relationship? The most common answers that I've heard are: “I wanna choose someone who’s similar to me!” or “I want someone who looks hot!”. Some would go as far as to say, “I only care about the person’s character.” And it’s based on such statements, that most relationships function these days: First enter into a relationship, see if each partner has what the other is looking for, and continue if yes, or see how far you’re compatible if no. If both partners are good enough for each other, the relationship will hold, or else it will break.
Well, the blink theory goes well against this algorithm. It states that – “The best partner for a relationship is the one who captures your full attention at first sight, instilling a strong passion in you, without you thinking about any further logical consequences.”Sounds familiar? Yep, it’s equivalent to “love at first sight”, and that’s what is called a ‘blink’! Doesn’t it sound ridiculous? The idea of choosing your partner based on a momentary feeling, as opposed to logic and reasoning? That’s what I thought too, at first. But if you think about it, and analyze the factor that plays the most important role in a relationship, it’s emotions, rather than logic. When you enter into a relationship based on logic, the very same logic prompts you to find reasons to sustain it or end it. It quickly descends into a mechanical arrangement, with emotions taking the backseat, and it almost never works out. But when you get a ‘blink’, you follow purely based on emotions and instinct, the most crucial ingredients for the functioning of a relationship. So what exactly is this ‘blink’? It’s hard to express it in words. It’s this feeling when you see that special person, and you know he/she is the one for you immediately, without you thinking further about it. And how do you realize it? Blink theory guarantees that you’d realize it. There’s no logic behind it (at least, not the one we’re familiar with). It’s purely instinct. A ‘perfect blink’ is when two people have ‘blinks’ towards each other.
And according to blink theory, such pairs are the perfect partners for a relationship. So, in essence, blink theory gives certain counter-intuitive results such as:-
It is futile to go for a guy/girl who doesn't have the ‘blink’ towards you. Any such future relationship with him/her would only be mechanical, if at all it happens. Either a guy/girl has the blink for you, or doesn't. There’s no in-between (though there’s nothing stopping you from considering a ‘half-blink’ or ‘quarter-blink’, should the need arise!) and there’s no such thing as ‘developing a blink later on’. A ‘blink’ is something that occurs spontaneously, not something that one develops over time. Well, that’s blink theory in a nutshell. Of course, it’s much more complex when you consider specific relationship cases, and it doesn't guarantee that every relationship you enter into based on the blink theory, goes well and lasts forever. Sustainment of relationships is not covered by the theory, and it depends on how you handle emotions and priorities in life. So this is a disclaimer you ought to be aware of, about blink theory: It doesn’t guarantee that a perfect blink relationship would last forever. It merely tells that such a relationship has the best chance. And that’s it. Of course, I’m sure most people would consider this some sort of a joke, with all this talk about blinks, emotions and whatnot.
"EDIT: This post was written way back in 2013, and my views on the matter have considerably changed since then." ~ Jobin, Mathematics
Well, if you continue to read, I’m sure you would be perplexed too. So, the theory of relationships that I’m talking about is called the ‘Blink’ theory. I don’t think that’s an official name for it (you won’t find it in Google), but it sounded cool, so we just went for it. So this theory is concerned about the selection of partners in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship (and all further usage of the word ‘relationship’ refers to such relationships, unless stated otherwise).
Before we actually get to the theory, let’s try to get something clear first: Where does one intend to go with a relationship? This is a very deep question, if you actually think about it. Of course, you can get away by saying, “I wanna have fun” or “This boy/girl is hot. I think I’ll stick with him/her until someone else comes along.” The idea of a relationship varies from person to person, and it’d be unrealistic to agree on a common notion. So, at this point, the Blink theory makes an assumption: Every relationship is started with the intent to make it last forever, culminating in marriage. This essentially implies that the theory isn't for people who enter into relationships just for a ‘fling’, or for fun. But of course, it doesn't necessarily imply that thinking in the latter manner is wrong! It’s just that the theory isn’t designed for such people. Now with that out of the way, let’s get to the theory. How do you choose partners for a relationship? The most common answers that I've heard are: “I wanna choose someone who’s similar to me!” or “I want someone who looks hot!”. Some would go as far as to say, “I only care about the person’s character.” And it’s based on such statements, that most relationships function these days: First enter into a relationship, see if each partner has what the other is looking for, and continue if yes, or see how far you’re compatible if no. If both partners are good enough for each other, the relationship will hold, or else it will break.
Well, the blink theory goes well against this algorithm. It states that – “The best partner for a relationship is the one who captures your full attention at first sight, instilling a strong passion in you, without you thinking about any further logical consequences.”Sounds familiar? Yep, it’s equivalent to “love at first sight”, and that’s what is called a ‘blink’! Doesn’t it sound ridiculous? The idea of choosing your partner based on a momentary feeling, as opposed to logic and reasoning? That’s what I thought too, at first. But if you think about it, and analyze the factor that plays the most important role in a relationship, it’s emotions, rather than logic. When you enter into a relationship based on logic, the very same logic prompts you to find reasons to sustain it or end it. It quickly descends into a mechanical arrangement, with emotions taking the backseat, and it almost never works out. But when you get a ‘blink’, you follow purely based on emotions and instinct, the most crucial ingredients for the functioning of a relationship. So what exactly is this ‘blink’? It’s hard to express it in words. It’s this feeling when you see that special person, and you know he/she is the one for you immediately, without you thinking further about it. And how do you realize it? Blink theory guarantees that you’d realize it. There’s no logic behind it (at least, not the one we’re familiar with). It’s purely instinct. A ‘perfect blink’ is when two people have ‘blinks’ towards each other.
And according to blink theory, such pairs are the perfect partners for a relationship. So, in essence, blink theory gives certain counter-intuitive results such as:-
It is futile to go for a guy/girl who doesn't have the ‘blink’ towards you. Any such future relationship with him/her would only be mechanical, if at all it happens. Either a guy/girl has the blink for you, or doesn't. There’s no in-between (though there’s nothing stopping you from considering a ‘half-blink’ or ‘quarter-blink’, should the need arise!) and there’s no such thing as ‘developing a blink later on’. A ‘blink’ is something that occurs spontaneously, not something that one develops over time. Well, that’s blink theory in a nutshell. Of course, it’s much more complex when you consider specific relationship cases, and it doesn't guarantee that every relationship you enter into based on the blink theory, goes well and lasts forever. Sustainment of relationships is not covered by the theory, and it depends on how you handle emotions and priorities in life. So this is a disclaimer you ought to be aware of, about blink theory: It doesn’t guarantee that a perfect blink relationship would last forever. It merely tells that such a relationship has the best chance. And that’s it. Of course, I’m sure most people would consider this some sort of a joke, with all this talk about blinks, emotions and whatnot.
"EDIT: This post was written way back in 2013, and my views on the matter have considerably changed since then." ~ Jobin, Mathematics
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